Goodbye

“A friend loves at all times; he is there to help when trouble comes.” Proverbs 17:17

Today is a day that I have always known would come, but that does not make it any easier. Today my Pastor preached his last sermon at my church and this week he and his family will load up their belongings and head for a new home, a new church, a new life in Plainfield, Indiana. I am so sad to see them go, but also know that they did not make this decision lightly. This is God’s plan for their lives as evidenced by the many details He has worked out for them – all because they answered His call.

Throughout his nine-plus years here I have experienced both the depths of despair and the heights of joy in my life. He has seen me through much of that and has been a compassionate counselor, a wise teacher, and most important – has come to be my trusted friend. I will miss him so much. He has helped me move a little further down the spiritual maturity road and for that I am grateful. Also during his time here I have come to realize and so appreciate the sacrifices a pastor’s wife makes supporting her husband as he ministers to his (sometimes needy) flock. She too is a treasure and I will also miss her greatly.

It’s very hard to say goodbye, but instead of feeling so sad about them leaving, I should focus on thanking the Lord for the gift of having known them. Changing my perspective helps comfort me – knowing that God has both them and me in the right place, at the right time because He does not withhold anything that is for our good. What a wonderful God!

So to my friends – Dusty, Debbie, Darci, DeAnn, and Denae – I wish you farewell. I will always think of you fondly, remembering your wonderful friendship and servant hearts. Love and blessing to all of you as you begin a new journey!

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened!”

Dr. Suess

Expectations

“Behold, I bring you GOOD NEWS of great joy that will be for all people. Today, in the city of David, a Savior has been born to you; He is CHRIST the LORD.” Luke 2:10-11

Ever since I can remember, the Christmas season has been a stressful and emotional, almost dreaded time for me. I was never really sure why. I can’t trace it back to some terrible event in my childhood; my parents didn’t do it to me. We were by no means a wealthy family, but we were happy and had plenty. I think my parents worked really hard to fulfill our (reasonable) Christmas wishes. In fact, they deserve a lot of credit, providing for five kids! I can’t even trace it back to anything specific in my years of raising my two children and the hustle and bustle that ensues. All I know is from the day after Thanksgiving until Christmas Day I just experience a feeling of unrest. (I guess for me, Black Friday had nothing to do with shopping.)

Mark, bless his heart, knows how I am and he has worked very hard to make this the best Christmas season ever for me. This man is a great list-maker and he made a long one – not for me, but for us. He gently took me by the hand and went with me to complete all of our Christmas shopping several weeks before Thanksgiving. We have 5 grandchildren and we spent several hours playing with the toys in Walmart one Saturday afternoon in November, making our gift selections. We really did have a lot of fun! He saw to it that I had wrapping paper and supplies and that all the shopping chores were wrapped up (forgive the pun) by mid-November. With all of that done, and after spending a very enjoyable day with my family on Thanksgiving, Mark whisked me off to sunny Phoenix, Arizona the next day to start the season by enjoying time with his sister and her family for four wonderful days. Back at home, he became even more determined that all would be good for my December. He decided that this year he would not have me spending hours in the kitchen for Christmas. He has ordered Hog Wild BBQ for our family meal, has already bought the sodas, and has a short shopping list of the things we need to complete the menu. Is this a great guy, or what!!!!

So far this month, I am doing pretty good. But I continue to think about the why. Why does this season make me feel this way? I don’t think I am the only one that struggles like this, but I think I have finally figured it out - at least for me. The advertisers tell us we have to buy, buy, buy; we need more, more, more - or we won’t be happy. I can remember several years that I went out on December 24th buying more because I felt like I just did not do enough. TV portrays families that are so wonderful and everything comes together like a Norman Rockwell scene at the end of the show. If they happen to have any problems at all, they are resolved and all is fantastic and lovely by the end of the show. Everything is decorated beautifully and everyone is healthy and hap, hap, happy. The movies are even worse. They are full of madcap hilarity, and even the most dysfunctional of families have locked arms and all is calm, all is bright by the conclusion of the film. So here is what I have finally concluded to be the root of my problem: The problem is me - that I believed the lies Hollywood and the marketers tells us about the season, which leads to unfulfilled expectations in the real world.

Real life is not like that. The need continues to do our jobs, take care of our families, clean the house, cook the meals and all of the long list of daily details that must be attended to - but we get on the insane Christmas merry-go-round anyway. In real life, our kids get sick and we do to. I once read an essay by humorist Erma Bombeck where she wrote about being asked what her kids were getting for Christmas. She replied, “Oh, I don’t know yet. Measles, chickenpox, flu - I’m sure they will get something!” In real life the bills need to be paid, the car breaks down or the refrigerator dies, but there is all of this Christmas spending and the extra activities to go to. And we are exhausted.

Last year my daughter Jen, who tends to be a lot like me during this holiday season, said to me, “Mom, why do we do this?” And she is right!! Why has Christmas moved so far away from the original intent for the celebration? I don’t believe God ever intended it to be this way. Rather than trying to trump last year, buying the biggest and the best, and decorating with a million more tiny lights, shouldn’t we focus more on the real meaning of Christmas and simply celebrate Jesus?

So this year, I am trying to give myself the gift of perspective and realistic expectations. This is the year that I have decided it is OK to keep it simple if it means I have a little energy left over for the people in my life. I really do love Christmas decorations and will enjoy seeing them if I am in the homes of some of my friends who decorate so exquisitely for the season. I will also enjoy driving around town with Mark, enjoying the beautiful outdoor light displays. But, I will not allow myself to feel guilty that Christmas decorating on a massive scale is not my thing. We have some great, but modest gifts ready, but I won’t allow myself to feel like there must be a dozen packages for each kid under the (small) tree. I will eat healthy and take care of myself. Most important - I think I will turn off the TV, study my Bible more, and concentrate on the goodness of God - thanking Him for is indescribable gift of Jesus Christ! Now that’s GOOD NEWS; He is the reason for the season!

Wishing joy and peace to you for this Christmas season!!

Blessings

“Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings see what God has done!”

Johnson Oatman, Jr., 1856-1922

Today is Mark’s birthday. Traditionally we give gifts to the one having the birthday, but I feel like the gift has been given to me. He is amazing and I am so grateful that God sent him my way. I tend to make things so complicated and he is so not complicated. Many times at home I will come upon him and he is just sitting quietly. (I don’t really have that ability!) I will frequently ask him what he is thinking about. Quite often, the answer will be, “Oh, I was just thinking about the goodness of God.” He is such a reality check for me – while I am compiling a list of worries, he is counting his blessings.

Thank you, Lord for sending me a Godly man. Happy birthday Mark! You are such a blessing to me; I love you!