Obedience

"For MY thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways MY ways,” declares the LORD.      Isaiah 55:8

I have been experiencing a struggle with faith.  I believed God had shown me that I was to do something.  I took some action steps that I thought were what I was supposed to do in order to accomplish this task.  But nothing happened; the doors all seemed to be closed.  I did not understand and had pretty much decided that I had not heard God correctly.  I was prepared to let it go.

But once again I strongly felt that God was telling me I was supposed to do something.  However, this time, He showed me that the way I had envisioned carrying out this task was not what He had in mind at all.  What He was showing me was way out of my comfort zone.  I asked Mark, who I consider spiritually wise, if he thought I was capable of doing it.  He told me that it did not matter what he or I (or for that matter anyone else) thought.  If God wanted it done by me, He would accomplish it through me.

The project is in motion.  In some ways I have felt blessed by what has happened so far, but in other ways frustrated and not understanding.  Mark encouraged me to think about Psalm 62:8:  “Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge."  So I did just that.  I cried out to God and told him the things on my heart - about my thoughts, my feelings of inadequacy, my frustrations.

But then something incredible happened.  I experienced a quietness in my soul.  I felt I was hearing something - like a whisper - come from deep within me.  I know it has to be the Holy Spirit moving in me.  This is not the kind of thought that I come up with on my own!  I understand now that this has never been about what the task is, or if the project even moves forward.   It doesn’t even matter if the project outcome is what I (or the world) would call a success.   This is about obedience – and being willing to do what God told me to do.

Following God’s leading does not happen automatically – at least not for me.  It is a matter of continual choice.  Having a desire to be what God wants me to be and do what He wants me to do is good, but it requires action on my part.  I want to be obedient to God’s will.